Consequences You Didn’t Create

Stepmoms are Experts (jussayin)

The most important thing anyone who is marrying a parent needs to know is you’re about to commit to an avalanche of consequences you didn’t create, and if you aren’t equipped and ready for massive doses of emotional growth, you’ll leave, and with your hair on fire.

As a stepparent I wouldn’t expect a kid to run well, all day long, on a morning smoothie, or quickly get over a lack of privacy or bathroom stops. But I regularly received our kids after having faced these kinds of inconveniences and circumstances. I had accepted that I live with consequences I didn’t create, and that often the safest person in a kid’s life gets the worst treatment. I asked a lot of questions and I learned to get to solution quickly. I learned to ask a kid who started his day in a different location a few questions before correcting an “attitude”. How much water have you had today, when was the last time you went #2, when did you eat last, etc. It’s simple. It prevented worsening a present consequence. It reduced circumstances I never would’ve created in the first place, and it took a lot of emotional agility. I learned as much as I could, as fast as I could, and I’m a lioness when it comes to kids. I also had medical pros for parents, I was once a nanny and a camp counselor and I’m a quick study who doesn’t like unnecessary conflict. I am not bragging, I’m reporting back; it could be seen as selfish. I wanted a calm home as often as possible. Anyway, they grew up, I was amazed by them, and mostly, I was done. They had their own rhythms (and phones) and the consequences I didn’t create shrunk and often landed where they belonged. I thanked God all the time, and out loud, and prepared for the next season. But the next season began in 2020.

The situations we are dealing with today, all over the world, are consequences we did not create. Back in 2019, a majority of parents did not clamor at school board meetings for young children to wear masks, long after a pandemic existed only if you lived in a certain town or read a certain paper. Parents weren’t begging for their kids to learn online about sexual positions and activities that a National Education Association pamphlet just taught me. (And no, I couldn’t really handle it, and I’m in my 40s. So I stand firmly against a child’s exposure to it, and all decent people would.)

We are, as a collective, now dealing with consequences created by a dysfunctional system bowing to non government agencies that are still attempting to usher in a destructive global order. It’s not working, but we are all still dodging consequences on a daily basis. Nations like Sri Lanka and Germany are dealing with massive consequences for prioritizing a “credit score” with the WEF over supply, function, health and nourishment. Where I live, homeless people who relieve themselves on the sidewalk, whose mental faculties require a critical skill set, are often a factor on a neighborhood walk. I am not going to ignore it, which is what earns you a nod from the virtue hall monitors. I’m calling out the consequences I didn’t create. And since, as a stepmom, it is getting old, my anger is often hottest in a circle of free people. By the way, the local City Council, which encourages and attracted the homeless encampments into our community will do nothing but correct my terminology. It’s “unhoused”.

Parents of kids facing normal adolescent depression in the age of Tik Tok are being convinced that the two choices are suicide or the opposite gender. Underneath the smoke and mirrors and language, you realize it is this simple. Young women like Chloe Cole are being smeared and censored for communicating the truth, because you know, Vanderbilt needs to make some money. Remember, 1.3 mil over a lifetime.

There’s something I have learned about manufactured, manipulative, and ridiculous claims that cause impossible unwanted consequences. For instance, Stacey Abrams’ recent statement that a 6 week old fetus’ heartbeat, roaring forth to pull tears from her parents’ eyes in a cold clinic, isn’t real. (Go to hell, Stacey Abrams, where your manufactured statement came from.) What I’ve learned is that this kind of manipulative, phony insanity and darkness burns itself down. We are watching that happen.

Want to know what helps put out the fire? Good people speaking up.

Call out the consequences you’re living with, which are pure harm, that you did not create, at least once a day. Rebuild community with people who know it too, who know that communicating openly about present time reality is love. The deal is still the same. This is over when one person at a time says it’s over.

We can reclaim reality. Realities like simply accepting marginalized groups (now weaponized by a radical left) and knowing that they pretty much just want to be left alone like the rest of us. They don’t need you to get their language. They just find the people who speak it. I know from experience. I had odd jobs in artistic endeavors for decades. I was once an indie musician traveling around and living in a van. I met and knew a lot of marginalized people. Nobody was pining for intervention on their behalf at the legislative level.

No one creating these consequences is helping anyone. Call it out.