He Said it Better

I’m doing a fast. Only water. I started on Sunday and break the fast today. You can bet I looked at the timestamp on the picture of salad I sent via text to my husband and kids on Sunday. That was to determine exactly what time I began the fast, as I count down to my puréed vegetable soup this afternoon.

I’ve been sustaining myself by reading books by the healer called Praying Medic. He was raised Catholic, and lived as a bitter atheist who mocked Christians until he started hearing from God. He was asked in a dream to pray for the patients in his ambulance. What followed is amazing. I really absorbed the material, because I was hungry, and vulnerable, and the veil between heaven and earth felt thin. Humbling.

His books explained what happened for me once, when someone I love dearly had a sibling who went to the hospital. All I could do for weeks was pray the rosary for them. I now consider that recovery a miracle.

I prayed during this fast, too. I prayed for all the children who felt as hungry as I did. It was only a three day fast for me, but for the kids in California who only eat at school, it was over a year. Because of “public health regulations”. Hunger confirmed how much that doesn’t seem like public health for children.

HALT

I am really hungry, and I live by HALT. Don’t do much if you’re hungry, angry, lonely or tired. And the eccentric scientist Clif High just simply said it better today. So I suggest you read him, and come back to this.

I’m the 4th category in that piece. I think clearly and observe humanity. Songwriting sent me on a journey of attempting to say what I think and feel in one succinct chorus. I mostly bombed at that, but now I know why. Everything I’ve experienced in the last two years has clarified things. While my efforts have been unappealing to many, they are only continuity. Results of what I’ve done my whole life. I’m an oddball who valued thinking clearly and observing humanity. I feel gratitude for failure in major industries. Gratitude for landing on my feet and getting to marry the love of my life. Getting to feel his support for my oddball adventures, getting the chance to love his offspring as my own.

This is an intense time. Ultimately we will all face the heartbreak of casualties together. Whether it is collapsing teenage athletes becoming frequent, or reports of shots and bombs. The strategic shortages, inflation and supply chain issues were already underway. Some will know that, and some will think it’s all a result of the current foreign conflict in the mainstream news. Some will think of catastrophic, tragic, premature injury and death as “new” and bewildering. Some will know exactly why it is occurring. I happen to think the war has already been going on. Emotions, information and experimental biologics have already been weaponized, but now we see it.

Ok, time to HALT until I break my fast.