Narratives That Bred Insecurity Are Now Insecure
My introduction to the CRT narrative arrived like an emergency on my podcast “Something Better” in 2019. An interview stopped and turned when I said “Yale or jail, Park Avenue, park bench, we all are human and have feelings.” I had just released the song “On the Inside” about how we are more alike than different, which I carry in my heart. It is from a poem written by Dr. Maya Angelou. This was my intro to the concept that voices and leaders I treasured, who changed me inside, where God resides, in ways that could not be evaluated, were just a symbol of my whiteness and lack of awareness.
The topic of the podcast was relationship with your mother as it relates to dating. The entire episode turned into a different show and topic, and I rolled with it. This ushered in a season of shame so intense I could barely see straight. I’m a musician. I once arrived at an audition and the Middle Eastern producer said “Oh! I thought you were black?” I had given him a demo of me singing a Motown song, and he knew I was from Chicago. I treasured this as a compliment because of all of the musical heroes I sought to emulate. This had little to do with race for me. It was more about bearing soul, and effortlessly, spiritually reaching people inside, as they had reached me. This too, sadly became a source of shame at this time.
I know the history of my country and accept there are systemic problems with race, sometimes severe. I was raised to see, acknowledge and end problems, if I encountered them. I was raised to look at racial issues in context on a case by case basis and turn down my hot, easily escalating temper.
I was “woke” in the 90s, long before it was fashionable. It would take decades for me to monitor my hot emotion about race. I have undoubtedly been naive and offensive in ways, even if goodhearted. I have since learned to arrest and extinguish cringey demeanor and sentiment that was missing critical thought. It wasn’t until I discerned woke from awake and discovered the political shams I have fallen for that I truly matured regarding this topic. I accept that this recent season of shame enlightened me in some ways. It also revealed the toxic narrative that simply remains in the problem. That’s the game. That’s why it was so disorienting. If it ends, so does the political agenda that uses innocent people to launder money.
Enrollment
My season of shame meant enrolling in an online class about how to be an anti-racist ally. I knew a lot about what was being covered because I went through phases of obsession with Native American Testimony while I was living in my van during my twenties. I was able to identify that the course material on indigenous people was mislabeled, incomplete and confusing. I knew regions and tribes well and was frustrated with incorrect information. Also, the documents seemed like rough drafts. One time a guest speaker spent an hour saying “there’s a lot I could go into on that” about several different threads, but she never actually “went into” anything of substance. I pack a lot into a day and I hate wasting time. I was twitchy and wanted to opt out. Because God has given me time here and I think it’s wrong to waste it. My seasonal shame was sending me messages that I wanted to opt out because of my race.
One evening the class leader showed her library and said “be assured there is not a single white man author in my library and there won’t be in this course”. It wasn’t just the racist statement, which I would’ve been afraid to point out at that time. It was that I was about to go make dinner for one white man and two white young men. And I didn’t want help with dismissing and disrespecting them. I might be tempted to do that because I’m human and I occasionally resentfully pick up socks and cook dinner through an ungrateful mood. That was my end with the course. My season of shame did not survive that blunt awareness.
The CRT narrative is crumbling and collapsing for many now, just like several other narratives that have plagued and brainwashed this country in recent years. Once deluded, blinded Democrats who pushed the lucrative CRT agenda, like Scott Adams, are now seeing the light and helping to wake the masses.
There are cell phone videos of children beating each other up all over the internet. They are rarely the same race. Is that enough now?
An awful demonstration is taking place, and it is the Devil’s way: getting even. It is an effort to right the nation’s wrongs by acknowledging that one race was elevated, and now we have to switch, and elevate the other one. ‘Oh, and ps, sort of include all the other races in between, in our imperfect, experimental, national melting pot. Go ahead and highlight a few other races occasionally too, but mainly keep it about the two that are “getting even”. ‘ This is most prominent in entertainment and music, and it is so extreme and disorienting, it hurts my heart. Recently I saw a clip of a giant talent on the red carpet answer “everyone black” when she was asked who she hopes will win at the awards show. I like her work a lot, and I missed out on learning who specifically her influences are, who on the roster lights her up and inspires her. I missed out on her while she obediently phoned in an agenda. This is not the way. It is a manipulative and destructive form of devolving into polarization and hate. Politicians love it.
When I was young and visiting my Dad at work in downtown Chicago, he taught me to walk along the streets of the Loop and smile at people. “Look at them and smile, Aim, no matter what they look like or wear, and even if they aren’t looking at you.” I now think he was teaching me to be a decent person who develops character and sees a human family. This was unlike some of the people in our white suburb. My personal issues with my father were significantly altered for the better when he was hospitalized for a major stroke, and many people of color holding jobs as custodians, orderlies, and desk attendants confidently and deliberately visited his room. It was stunning, and I will not ever forget the miracle of discovering who my father really was, through his illness and death. He was a flawed human being and not a saint, and still, his ethical standards are to be repeated.
Racism is insanity and can happen from all vantage points in all parts of the world.
Sane and ethical human decency, generationally transmitted and taught, heals it.
In my opinion, CRT covers ZERO of these two spiritual concepts. It borrows a lot of spiritual concepts, and simply destroys their essence: unconditional love.
A Sentencing Becomes a Study of Healing
I was at a rental car agency in Philadelphia with my family last Friday night, dealing with a canceled flight when I looked up at a TV and clocked a broadcast with my spidey senses. I felt in my vibes that I needed to see it in full. Something stirred inside me when I saw a short clip of the sentencing without volume, and I was compelled to find it on the internet when I had the time, and consciously witness the judge. This was the sentencing of a sociopath who has been breaking the law for decades. He ultimately committed an evil, heinous crime in conjunction with prior crimes. He is the picture boy of true white privilege. His family has basically owned the judicial system in his county and surrounding counties for a hundred years. His grandfather’s framed photo was taken off the wall at the beginning of the trial.
Sure enough, last night I spent 20 minutes watching the clip above, with an understanding of why my vibes fired up when I glanced at the TV in the rental car place.
I sense here a spiritual moment of reclamation and sanity. I feel the Holy Spirit moving through this judge. He is processing the personal, the professional and the collective pain and triumph, all at once. You could hear a pin drop in the courtroom as he gathers the reality of the situation and bears witness and instruction. It is a moment to behold. We are indeed moving into a future free of the level of corruption we have once encountered. We are healing from the insanity of racism, and probably not in the way crumbling toxic agenda keepers thought we would.
What I saw in this video is the end of a dark period of history that sailed through the south like a cruise ship. In the quiet of this court room, I sensed that cruise ship slowly turning around. God was moving through this judge. His demeanor, his measure, his dignity, and his grace could heal. Most significant was when he mentioned the number of criminals given the death penalty by this convicted criminal’s lineage, “probably for lesser conduct”. We can also appropriately wonder if they were all truly guilty, especially when this convicted sociopath has proven to lie and steal within his position as a lawyer, and place money as priority.
In the context of this particular County, indeed it is significant that a dignified black judge looked down upon a white convicted criminal who destroyed his squeaky clean family name. But will using CRT in California to teach kids segregation in public schools in 2023 really heal our historical wounds? Can we not find a way to gather and carry knowledge and bring it to case by case experience, beginning with witnessing this measured, dignified judge?
All at once, we can hold space for our history, choose to witness this moment with our heart, soul and conscience, and also carry on by restoring the Divine mission of evaluating content of character, before color of skin.
Deep breath. Thank you.