I Facilitate Journeys.
The Diamond Is Inside
I find dating coaches so triggering. While I respect their effort because they usually have their marketing together in a way I do not, I often see reframed feminist messaging that interrupts miraculous masculine and feminine polarities in their calls to action. Let him lead, but yeah, in this case, also call him. (Don’t. It could interrupt the chemistry he feels for you when you aren’t around.) If I read a dating coach’s journey to marriage and realize she made the first move in an assertive leap to lead him, I droop.
Still, it offers a challenge to me. I seem like one of them, but I am not. How do I convey what I am, and what I do?
I am a teacher. I facilitate journeys. I am not here to sell cubic zirconias of online courses, I want to be in the moment with you clarifying the meaning underneath your dating data, past and present, to reveal the diamond of feminine potency you already have inside you.
What ninjas of letting go I have in my EF membership! These are women who completely let go and let God. They aren’t looking to justify or reframe ineffectual habits that the secular feminist culture celebrates. They enter totally new, unfamiliar feminine energy territory - until they realize they already know this territory, and always did. They knew it before the feminist culture denigrated and smeared it so much that they complied and departed from it.
As Tony Robbins said,
“if you want to take the island, you gotta burn the boats.”
They let go of old patterns and go all the way into inner work, not premature casual sex. They pivot, flirt lightheartedly, go slower in life, and in dating.
They get free from all the gimmicks and blocks to emotionally intimate love and partnership. They begin looking into their own past experiences, taking personal inventory, seeing that they weren’t a victim, they were making choices - and have new ones now.
This leads to detaching and dating in a way that is different. Different how?
She no longer needs to be in charge. She is simply willing to try, in a new way. She’s mad at systems and a glaring lack of integrity in a culture that mocks womanhood and traditional roles. She’s mad at the culture and the progressive push to bow to it - not men. This makes it easier to enjoy and respect men on simple dates.
She goes on a lot of substance-free and sex-free dates, and tells us the details on our Zooms. She goes where the love is, sees people in her life differently, in a productive way. She discovers a peace and a contentment that had been stolen from her by the sizzling, pervasive feminist messaging she grew tired of and now dismisses. She realizes nothing is worth the loss of herself, of this sweet surrender to God and awakened love of self. She becomes a better daughter, sister, friend. She right-sizes her job and vocational interests, to where there is room to leave it behind were she to become pregnant in a good, strong, stable marriage she dreams of with her future husband.
Dating according to the principles in my book means meeting men through recreation and hobbies, using dating apps as a tool and avoiding false intimacy through long DM conversations on them, and maintaining perspective. Detached dates mean a tea or coffee during the day, or a non-alcoholic drink in the evening. She doesn’t care anymore if friends call her new way of dating antiquated or oppressed. She knows she could lead and finagle a plus-one with any old bloke, the way her co-workers do, but it feels the same as propping a mannequin up in the room.
She wants a rich, deep, soulful family life with a good, principled masculine leader.
Pretty soon, she finds herself on a date that feels breezy. It’s easy to talk, he makes her laugh, he’s smart, he knows himself, he pays gentle attention to her. She’s not jumping ahead in her brain, she’s just enjoying the date.
Pretty soon, I am facilitating her experience in a relationship that may lead to marriage.
I’m a facilitator.
I facilitate the journey of finding and polishing the diamond you already have on the inside, until it is so sparkly you realize there is nothing you have to do, he will be sure to see it shining through you.
