Unseen Damage

Aw, man y’all, I am so incredibly tired. I usually feel stoked to go find a book that occurs to me, open to the passage that inspired me to write, fire away, but I just looked up at my bookshelf to find “It Didn’t Start With You” by Wolynn, and….I just can’t.

I’m too tired.

I have so much to do on a project I don’t know how to do, the only kind of project I ever seem to pick. I just want to tell you why I was thinking of the Wolynn book, ok?

When I was a new stepmom, one morning my husband barked at one of the kids, for touching stuff on his desk.

He was little, and crumpled, ran and hid under couch cushions in the next room. I followed him out to where he hid, to hug him. “Daddy is a grizzly sometimes” I said, which caused him to yield and receive my hug. “It’s like he doesn’t even love me!” he cried. I responded with something like, oh honey he does, he loves you so much. He was impatient with you because there were important papers on the desk. I know it hurt you, I can tell. It’s okay to cry. I promise Dad loves you so, so much. Then I gave my husband a sharp look that said “hey, lighten up and repair it, Mr.” as the little one disappeared to get dressed. I was determined for them to go to school on a good note. My husband pretended to be a growling bear, cracking them up and tickling both kids. Later that day, I taught a trauma therapist yoga for an hour. By afternoon, I was second guessing my effort. I told her I am out of my depth half the time and didn’t know if it was acceptable to follow the child to his hiding place and emphasize his father’s error. She assured me that I had done the right thing, that I hadn’t disrespected my husband, and that more importantly, I had witnessed the injury and granted the child the chance to be seen and heard after injury, which is profoundly healing.

She went on to tell me that a compassionate witness often means a chance for repair. Trauma is not only the injury itself, but surviving unseen damage. She said that the sooner the injury is seen and validated, the sooner the pain lifts. I had done the right thing. I bookmarked it as a win.

This is the precise passage I was too tired to find in Mark Wolynn’s book. He writes about it too.

The point is, half the country got injured for sharing warnings that are now mainstream headlines.

Within lots of relationships, much of it is still unseen damage. Show me a person who regrets remaining unvaccinated. Show me someone who thinks Biden is repairing the “soul of America”. I’m too tired to keep making the list.

Recently, someone sent me a headline that our brains changed because of propaganda. “This is why people still wear masks alone in their cars, their brains are broken” he said, alongside the headline. I refuse that kind of disrespectful divide. This happened to all of us! I wrote back saying “it’s not just the people who still wear masks, it’s all of us.

Propaganda changed EVERYONE’S brain, not just the people who fell for the medical imaginary tea party, that meant pouring each other a little cup of exchanges about illness. This required beLIEf in a PCR test proven useless by its inventor Kary Mullis ages ago (unless you trust “fact checks” from think tanks that fund agendas involving the masks and imaginary tests). It wasn’t just the ones sipping out of a mug with the face of an unelected sociopath on it who were hurt by the propaganda. That guy should be in prison, but instead got a post at a University . He’ll blend in an indoctrination camp bursting with zombies making unethical calls for the destruction of a certain people. (again.)

The medical propaganda happened to all of us, the ones who rejected it too.

When people you love and trust get convinced to see you as a liar in order to follow through with an unelected, immoral sociopath’s demands, it changes your brain. It injures you. Then, when the sociopath’s demand is proven ineffective, unnecessary, and possibly even dangerous, and no one says a word?

Listen, I get it. Too much to process, too much open-minded change required, alongside the profound unknown factors regarding personal well-being. Still, the silence means unseen, unresolved injury. It prolongues disorientation, and damage.

I’m tired. I know you are too.

Carnivore Aurelius’ Instagram