Equity v. Equality

#4 In a Series

“…as long as the individual had the belief – or even the hope of the belief – that his or her divine spark of reason could solve the problems facing society, then that society would never reach the state of hopelessness and alienation which was recognized as the necessary prerequisite for socialist revolution….a new barbarism was required.” - Michael J Minnicino, The New Dark Age: The Frankfurt School and Political Correctness *

Pre-Industrial Revolution, non-earning homestead chores were as valid as a breadwinner’s work outside the home.

Let that sink in. Families worked together, and emotional intimacy emerged from ordinary day to day routines. There was no psychological or medical assistance needed from a culturally Marxist teacher about private matters. A father could chop wood with a son in need of masculine leadership. A trip to gather eggs from a chicken coop with her mother could provide for a girl the very thing I do with women today.

Building this kind of “pre-industrial revolution” integration into your daily life is immeasurably satisfying and helps children without need for extra steps. Here in Los Angeles, I know a lot of people who hire staffs to “handle” their children’s “issues”. My husband and I have a much simpler perspective. We sit through school meetings and dinners with other couples, calmly listening to how involved it can get with parenting coaches and counselors. I imagine that the way I feel during these events is how the hardworking, charitable religious have felt for all ages, secure in already having all they needed.

For example, our younger son recently had a school dance. Together we went for a suit. Driving is a good opportunity to connect with a teen, because it is without the intimidation of eye contact. Undivided attention on him emerged from observing suit measurements of his growing limbs. While I ironed his shirt the day of the dance, I found myself alone in the house, so I prayed aloud for his safety and the safety of his girlfriend and all his friends. Those moments alone were because he was outside with his dad, washing our truck. That activity was a result of his privilege to drive his dad’s truck to the event. Build it in. Care, prayer, attention, meaningful chores, paid or not, in the home or not. Focusing on equity in the home grows good people.

Equality in the home, on the other hand, does not.

Equality was introduced by feminism as a goal for struggling wives who took the bait, not knowing a Marxist death cult was reeling them in. Achievable equity within the home through earning and non-earning jobs lost to a quest for equality in the home. As Dr. Pat Allen says, “women’s libbers established a woman’s right to be a man, as if that is the highest standard.” This led to competition and "keeping score" between spouses, now perfectly acceptable and normal. Equality, introduced by Marxist feminists, was not only sought in the public sector (where it is achievable) but in the kitchen and the bedroom.

Wives unwittingly invited a chemistry-killer into their marriages.

Ever balanced on a seesaw with equal weight on the other side? Yeah, it’s boring. And so is marriage when equality is prioritized. Women who seek the benefits of equity and it’s unexpected, miraculous balance, enjoy life. Equity provides harmony in the home, and curious, spiritual contemplation about humans being equal, without needing to prove it. Seeking equity means spouses accept complementary traits, complementary masculine and feminine energies, and enjoy life’s unexpected blessings. It means tossing the scoreboard.

Colleen, 51, sought my help with dating, but I kept noticing how often she mentioned her ex-husband. I probed. They had quickly divorced when his response to the death of a parent became unmanageable alongside existing issues. I sensed that his conservative views, once a threat to her formerly liberal outlook, were now exactly what she was looking for on dating apps. Over time, she contacted me with enthusiasm about seeing him again. She was willing to see her part in difficult past events and their issues vanished. For instance, his support of the 2nd amendment no longer triggered her.  (pardon the pun) This was because she had woken up to the agenda that captured her and rendered her a divorcee, knowing that divorce is another culturally Marxist celebration that ensures the isolation of women. She fought back through holy activism, by becoming willing to restore her marriage, seek God’s will for her life and focus on herself and what she can change.

Which Goes Where?

What is achievable in the personal sphere (equity) has been captured, to ensure a never-ending chase for something that is not achievable in the public sphere, all in the name of “equality.” Women everywhere are attempting equity in the public sphere, and even their language (“my work husband”) proves it. Transforming professional colleagues into sources for unmet emotional needs is a major issue for professional women today. It was for me as a single, and it is in my upcoming book.

Corporate messaging encourages women to seek personal equity in the public sector, with ad campaigns and articles “normalizing” crying at work and other personal expression. Super personal photos and experiences are acceptable to share in presentations by women new to their workplace. This all gives the distortion a motor. It is instinctive and natural for women to seek equity - everywhere, it is their nature - but it is actually achieved in the personal sphere, and in the home.

Of course the political agendas and progressive activists are dripping with this distortion. A stark example being the teachers in California who demanded their unions support their desire to stay home for two years, at the expense of children in a crucial life stage. This was use of a very suspicious season of lockdowns that didn’t even exist in other states. Many of these women would also denigrate the choice to stay home, for kids and not at their expense.

Equity that is achievable in the personal sector, and yet is sought in the public sector, has bitterly destroyed women, marriages and families.¹

I am determined to diminish this destructive distortion. I provide services that encourage women to start by simply creating a private life for themselves, one that they do not share with many acquaintances and colleagues. They get immediate relief from my suggestions, such as examining their nervous system as a result of slowing the pulse of their personal shares in public. Displaying photos for what often amounts to thousands of strangers on social media is often just too much for the human DNA of virtuous women who live alone! I grant a “permission slip” to just withdraw.

Are you seeking something from an inappropriate source?

Do you want to learn the boundaries that will make you an unstoppable empowered woman attempting merit-based equality (where it is possible) in the workplace while being a surrendered single or wife seeking equity in the home?

Are you afraid to admit that you’d love to be married, have a child and stay home?

Are you afraid of being denigrated by other singles for having the desire to stay home?

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Hat tip on opening quote to author Elizabeth Nickson

1. This is from a series on “Culture Capture” to provide background on my book.